wear a different perfume when you commit murder fuckin amateurs
also wear shoes that aren’t your actual size and use gloves if you have to touch anything
what the hell is this here? A how-to-commit-the-perfect-crime??
helping others is always nice
also if you know someone you can’t stand leave some of their hair at the crime scene
ok but one day tony is like “how the fuck do you afford things. you’re captain america you dont have a goddamned day job.” and steve just looks at him “tony, my bank account has been gathering interest since the forties. im fuckin loaded.”
I’d assumed his account would have been frozen
that is the best comment anyone has added to this post and i want to personally thank you for that
Miley: “Dad I have something for Tanners bug collection”
my uncle: “that’s great”
Miley: “it’s a bird”
my uncle: “no its not”
They let it go and it flew away just fine, so we’re wondering how she caught it.
she caught another bird.
update: she caught a squirrel today
She is gonna rule the world one day with this power